Top Reasons to Never Buy a French Bulldog :)


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Aug 1, 2013
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I read this last night and I thought it was so cute. Funny and True in a sarcastic kind of way :) Hope it makes you smile and remind you of your frenchie just like it reminded me of mine!

Top Reasons to NEVER Buy a French Bulldog

1. They are possibly the most flatulent breed on the face of the planet.

We’re not talking one or two little farts per week, either – we’re talking about a constant miasma cloud of evil smelling gas that will hang over top of your Frenchie pretty much constantly. Not only that, but they tend to belch after eating, too. Also, they have no hesitations about doing this when you’ve got company over – like, say, the boss you were hoping to charm into giving you a raise.

2. They shed. A lot.

Were you interested in Frenchies because you assumed a short haired breed wouldn’t shed as much? Think again! Frenchies shed year round, and if you don’t groom them to remove it, they’ll be happy to do so by rolling on the antique aubusson carpet or priceless needlepoint chair. It also seems inevitable that people who own dark Frenchies prefer white clothing, and visa versa. But hey, don’t take my word for it – enjoy this photo of what one brindle French Bulldog left behind, after one session with a FURminator!

3. They’re not Lassie – loyalty isn’t a breed trait Frenchies are known for.

Looking for the kind of dog who will devote itself to you and only you? Then look at something other than a Frenchie. You’ll often hear French Bulldogs described as ‘gregarious’, which is usually a polite euphamism for ‘they’re sorta slutty and will ditch you for the first person to offer them a cookie and scratch on the head’.

4. Drooling isn’t unknown, and neither is messy eating and drinking.

While not all Frenchies drool, enough of them do that it’s something to be prepared for. Many of the non droolers are still messy, slobbery, sloppy drinkers and eaters, and food loves to get caught in those adorable Frenchie face creases and wrinkles. Since Frenchies have a well developed sense of humor, many of them have found that pant legs make convenient napkins – especially cream linen pant legs.

5. Frenchies can have ‘little dog’ syndrome – some will fight at the drop of the hat.

Most commonly seen in the girls (who can put the capital ‘B’ into the word bitch when they want to), dog agression isn’t unknown in Frenchies. Those seeking to integrate multiple dogs into one household need to be prepared for spats, territorial conflicts and food agression in some dogs and some lines.

6. Poop – the tasty treat French Bulldogs adore!

Yup, it happens – some Frenchies develop a taste for poop, whether their own, or someone else’s. And kitty litter? Yum yum! Kitty poop eating is so common that we resignedly refer to it as ‘kitty canapes’. Another favorite is Canada goose poop – mine will snuffle this stuff up like it’s truffles dipped in caviar. Elegant dogs they’re not.

7. Allergies abound

In addition to all of the common health issues you’ll hear about which can occur in Frenchies, is another one which is less commonly mentioned – allergies. Whether to food, cleaning products, or environmental factors, allergies of one kind or another are so common in Frenchies that it is virtually impossible to gaurantee your dog won’t develop them. Some can be controlled with a simple change in diet, but others are much more difficult to alleviate.

8. They’re small and cute, but they’re still a bull & terrier breed, and that means they’re stubborn

Did you ever wonder why stubborn people are referred to as ‘bull headed’? Well, you won’t after you’ve owned a Frenchie. Implacably stubborn and always determined to get their own way, and a challenge to obedience train, Frenchies prefer things be done their way, or not at all. Veteran trainers have been known to be reduced to tears at the stubbornness of one cute little 21 lb Frenchie.

9. House breaking? Good luck!

You know that rare oriental carpet that you’re so attached to? The priceless one that Grandmother left you in her will? Well, your Frenchie just peed on it. Repeatedly. Oh, and he also left you a ‘surprise’ under the coffee table – and all of this was after you’d spent months consistently housebreaking him. Welcome to the wonderful world of Frenchie ownership! Frenchies can be one of the most incredibly difficult breeds to housebreak. Experienced dog owners have been reduced to accepting that carpeting is no longer an option once you own a Frenchie.

10. Don’t leeeeaaaaave me!

Looking for a dog that will be content to stay home alone while you’re at work during the day? Something content to be alone, and able to entertain itself? You might want to think twice about getting a Frenchie, in that case. Many Frenchies suffer from seperation anxiety, a condition which they express with everything from frantic barking to chewing, digging and pacing. Some owners have found that the only solution is to add a second dog, while for others even this doesn’t work.

11. The Frenchie death yodel – once heard, never forgotten…

You’re getting ready for bed, and suddenly you hear it – the sound that’s been described as ‘nails on a chalkboard to the power of ten’. Is it an animal caught in a trap? Someone choking to death? The end of the world? No, it’s just your Frenchie, expressing his opinions about being left alone. I bet your neighbours love hearing it just as much as you do!

12. Some Frenchies have health issues – and some Frenchies have lots of them

Conscientious breeders do everything in their power to produce puppies which are as healthy as possible, but every health screening test in the world still isn’t enough to ensure that nothing will ever happen to your Frenchie. Breathing problems, spinal conditions, allergies, heat stroke, joint problems, Cushings, Addisons, eye problems – they’re out there, and they can happen. Are you prepared to deal with this, if and when it does? Owning a Frenchie is not for the faint of heart – and it’s also not for those who can’t afford good veterinary care.

13. Frenchies – the four legged crack of the dog world.

Frenchies should come with a warning label slapped on their sides – something to let all of us poor suckers know that owning one is never enough. Allergies, poop breath, carpet piddling – if you’re the kind of person who can tolerate all of this and still love a Frenchie, you’re just one short step away from becoming a Frenchie junkie, just like the rest of us. Once you’ve owned one, nothing less will ever again do. Consider yourself forewarned.
#13 is my favorite... even with all of their quirky traits, I am absolutely in love with my little girl... And if we didn't have three dogs already I would be begging for another one... :)
#13 is my favorite... even with all of their quirky traits, I am absolutely in love with my little girl... And if we didn't have three dogs already I would be begging for another one... :)

When you have 3 what is one more. :D

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Ha very true, We are a three dog, two cats, and two people household :) Ha might have to try and convince my husband we have room for just ONE MORE.. ha
OMG - Love it!!! We are patiently waiting for our BubbaGump to be born. Or maybe not so patiently...
Ha very true, We are a three dog, two cats, and two people household :) Ha might have to try and convince my husband we have room for just ONE MORE.. ha

Pffftt.... just get the pup, he will not even notice :whistle:
That housebreaking thing scares me. Ate they really that bad? Does anyone have one that is housebroken?

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That is great and I completely agree with #13 too. We are a 4 Labrador, 1 Frenchie, and 2 children household, but I would add another Frenchie in a heart beat if my husband agreed. :)
I meant to say are they. I don't know why my phone thinks it's okay to change my words.

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Well at least one thing is right, when you get one, you will be hooked for life. LOL [MENTION=179]Tgirl[/MENTION], they are not that hard to potty train.
That is cute to read, but not all that true--Farting has a lot to do with what they are fed; Buster sheds way, way less than Ruggles; David is right, they aren't that hard to potty train! 13 is sure true though, I'm a Frenchie addict!
The farting with our girl is terrible and we feed her Fromm but she has been that way since the day we brought her home... Just part of her charm... And I really didn't notice much shedding at all compared to my other two dogs that's for sure. Over all a cute article not meant to be taken literal just for fun :)

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I really enjoyed the article! After having English Bulldogs for over 30 years, my half French/ half Olde English is an absolute delight. Now, if I'd had Poodles maybe I'd be singing a different tune!
I think I got pretty luck with Norm is a very health and a good dog.

1. Norm can clear a room like no other.
2. I don't know where all the fur comes from.
3. Norm often referred to as The Pig Pig
4. Never had an issue with drooling or being messy.
5. This never used to be an issue until recently when he attacks the TV. I think he needs friends.
6. So Thankful he doesn't eat poop
7. Luckily no allergies
8. Stubborn yes..not so small though
9. Potty Training went very well(just a couple of days) only have handful of accidents
10. He's pretty content with entertaining himself
11. This is the funniest thing you will ever here...I think he sounds like the predator
12. No health far
13. I wouldn't trade Norm so any other dog.
#1 had me nervous, but so far Q isn't too atrocious. I can handle the farts at home, but when she toots while working with the trainer or waitress at dinner, I turn red and am mortified. I'm not the best mommy, by just ignoring it and moving on because I have to apologize that Q tooted and it'll probably hit their gag reflex really soon. It makes me feel better, so the person doesn't assume it was me.

XoXo from Quella La Roux and her mommy too!
Omg, I feel so much better about our little poo eating disclosure after reading this! It's chronic in the breed! Or at least it's joked to be. My breeder said go with all raw food as the stool will have less nutrient passed in it that might be appealing. Worth trying. 1 week in, love my frog dog to death!!!

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The potty training part with Louie was a piece of cake!!! The behavioral part.....NOT so much!!! Lol!!!

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No 13 here I just love my boys however naughty Hugo is (Winston doesn't do a thing wrong, lol) I can't help but snuggle their little wrinkly faces. I would love another one, a girl would be lovely, came close to getting a girl a few months ago but was let down :(